Some of you are way too loyal to me. . . and I love you for it. I checked my sitemeter and see that you have visited. I will post a little later today. Meanwhile, my happy news is that my nephew, Jeff, pitched for his high school baseball team for the state championship and WON. He also scored the winning run. He is amazing. I am still high from being there. It was a week ago.

I think it's time for a blog facelift. But not right now. I just returned from walking Oakleigh around the neighborhood path. I didn't think she'd make it. It's hot out. But I let her swim in the crick to cool off. So she's happy.

Today's my first day home from Scottsdale. I always love the first day back from a vacation. Being home feels fresh. Running errands is like visiting local friends. It's good to be home. I mowed a little more than half the lawn today before I thought I might die from some combination of heat stroke and fatigue. I am SO out of shape. At the Safeway I saw a man with the hugest, most beautiful black furry dog with white and brown on his face. I wanted to bend over and give that doggie a huge smooch, but I knew the pup was trying so hard to behave. So I just said a few ga ga dog words to make him smile.

BJ's was OUT OF LEMONS. . . a huge crisis when today's the day I'm starting my second round of detox. Meaning, I did it once before several months ago and I need a boost of self discipline to help me get back on the wagon of a healthy lifestyle. Can't start the day without lemons. Thank goodness for Trader Joes.

In Scottsdale, I was most impressed by how neat Annie keeps her house. Okay, so she lives alone. But I'm inspired, nonetheless, and am going to have a clean fest starting this afternoon. I'm looking forward to this week. I don't expect anything to rock my world. I'm just happy to be home again.

Facebook, making art, and Oakleigh have taken up what was all my blogging time. I miss posting photos, and chatting with you all. You are a community for me and I've dropped out. I think that's why we feel guilty when we don't post. We feel out of touch with a special group of friends. So maybe I could post an itty bitty bit more frequently. Something is better than nothing! Got to run now. I don't want to be late for my art class. xoxo

You Are Caramel deLites / Samosas

You are blessed with a brilliant, dynamic mind. It's sometimes hard to figure out what your focus should be. You're the type of person who does almost everything well. You are very competent but also unfocused. You're not an easy person to pin down. You are vibrantly complex. You have many facets to your personality, and they're often in competition with one another.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?

Well, this is a big shout out thank you to Cheryl for inviting me to join facebook. Tonight I found my best friend from when I was in high school. That sounds a bit awkward, but we went to different schools and knew each other through church and (shared/exchanged) boyfriends. God, I loved that girl. Yippee and thank you Cheryl!

A slide show was put together of photos of the accident Jessica was in. To see these pictures, you have to know that the car she was in absolutely should have been crushed and yet it received not a scratch. Her car is in the second photo, sitting between the two pick up trucks which are turned around. The cars around her took the hits from the oil tanker while she and her friends remained protected inside the car. Jess had just unbuckled her seatbelt and was about to make a run for it when she realized a hit would pin her against the guard rail. So she rebuckled and "bore down" awaiting the oncoming tanker. Another car miraculously settled itself between her car and the tanker and was hit in the rear and again, miraculously, nobody was hurt (by that particular event). Jess and her friends did not get home until late the next afternoon. The Red Cross put them up in a hotel while the highway was being cleared and the driveable cars were moved to a park & ride. Needless to say, we are all still processing this. Seems Jessica had the help of a few angels, or one really big one.

Today was a great day. It was my first day off detox. Hooraaay. I did it! Seven days without cheating. I didn't cheat today either, but the rules are a bit easier this week. This week I get to add protein and all the beans I want. I'm happy. I love beans. I still haven't salted anything, not even my egg. It was fine. I can't believe it. And I started exercising today. It was hopeless to even think about it last week. And I'd stopped a while ago anyway; but exercise is a part of this program which thrills me, as I have someone to account to. So I ran at the club and then came home and took Oakleigh for a long brisk walk. I have to say I feel fantastic. I might take a stab at swimming tomorrow.

Well, I need to go prepare dinner now. We're having salmon, white beans (Great Northern or whatever) and broccoli. Yummmmm. And five jalepeno stuffed olives. :-)

That's my girl (not the headline!!)

Monday, January 19, 2009

2 Dead in 40-Vehicle Pileup on Interstate 70

MYERSVILLE, Md. — A pileup of 35 cars and five tractor-trailers on a
snowy Maryland highway killed two people Monday and seriously injured
at least a dozen, state police said.

Snow was at least partly to blame for the 12:30 p.m. crash on
Interstate 70 near South Mountain in northwestern Maryland, said State
Police spokeswoman Elena Russo. An inch-and-a-half of snow quickly
fell around the same time as the pileup.

Twelve seriously injured people were taken to Washington County
Hospital, Russo said.

Late Monday, troopers said they were looking for a brown minivan,
which might have damage on the passenger side, that was traveling west
on I-70 shortly before the crash and left the scene.

State police said the minivan may have been involved in the initial
crash which led to the pileup.

Jessica Granek, 21, of Columbia, was driving west with three friends
to go skiing at Whitetail as visibility was getting worse from the
snow, which left a slushy mess on the ground.

"We started to see brake lights, and I saw a blue SUV turn hard and
become perpendicular to the road," Granek said. "That made everyone
put their brakes on and (they) started sliding. We were fortunate to
veer off the right side of road."

She described a scene "out of a movie or TV show" with cars spinning
out of control and "kept getting nailed from every side." Cars veered
off into a wooded area, and Granek saw a tractor-trailer that "flew by
everyone and went into the woods." An oil tanker jumped a guardrail.

Somehow, Granek's car was untouched. When a tanker narrowly missed it,
she and her friends ran into the woods away from the road. She called
911, and within minutes, emergency crews were on the scene.

Granek and her friends were among 71 people, including infants and the
elderly, who were taken to a Red Cross shelter in Washington County,
said Julie Barr-Strasburg, executive director of the county's Red
Cross chapter.

Most were waiting to retrieve their vehicles from the pileup, she
said. The Red Cross was prepared to keep the shelter open until at
least midnight, she said.

"We are in close contact with emergency management and we are hearing
that it will be quite some time before the road is open," she said
late Monday afternoon.

Most of the people taken to the shelter suffered from "bumps and
bruises" and received first aid, she said.

Yumm. This lemon water is so tasty. After today, the week of detox will be on the down slope, with only three days to go. The headaches are tolerable and I know they will be gone soon. Plus, I consider them a validation. Eating, if you can call it that, helps. Even when I'm hungry I don't have a big appetite. I'm thirsty and actually love drinking the water. I drink a lot of herb tea. It's allowed, but doesn't count in the eight glasses of water.

My night sweats are gone! No more early morning drenches. No sweats at all, actually. Hoooraaay. I feel fabulous in the mornings. As the day goes on my energy droops. My legs hurt. If it's not so bitter cold I'll go for a walk today. I'm going out to do some vegetable shopping later. I've got to get moving. I run up and down the stairs as much as I can and I'm doing lunges when I walk across my studio. My creativity is shot. I stand in my studio and stare at stuff. I'll stare at a project for an hour, then stare at another project. I actually hate my studio right now. I enjoy sudokus and crossword puzzles, but my concentration and focus just aren't there. I did un-decorate my Christmas tree last night so it's ready to put away. Steve and I watched a movie: The Tiger and the Snow. I really did enjoy it, and it only mildly annoyed me that he drank wine all night long next to me. He was far enough away to keep me from having to smell it. As I adjust to these changes, I'm able to stay up later at night. At first I was unable to cope with facing the void created by the absence of habit. But even by the third day I was feeling braver. I haven't tried reading a book yet. I look forward to it, since I have so many on my nightstand. I will also say I don't feel depressed at all, even in the bleakness of winter. Feeling tired and sore is very different from feeling depressed and unmotivated.

Has anybody out there ever detoxed? I'd love to hear the experiences of others.

Detox day three

Good morning! Today is day 3 of my "detox" week of (no) food. The day starts with warm lemon water. It's supposed to cleanse your liver. My liver is certainly due for a good scrubbing. This warm lemon water could be my favorite part of the day. For breakfast I get to eat raw vegetables. We are awakening our taste buds. For my first meal I had three strips of yellow pepper and a radish. The radish nearly burned my mouth out. Yesss!! We are awake! I didn't have any other vegetables in the house so that's what I ate. For lunch we eat raw vegetables. I'm getting to the point that I'd rather be hungry than face another green bean. For dinner I'm allowed to eat raw vegetables. I'm allowed to drink eight glasses of plain water each day and for a treat I get three fruits. Oh, and no salt, no sugar and nothing artificial. There are three things I'm allowed to roast and without them I'd just stay in bed and fast. They are winter squashes, beets, and spaghetti squash. I save these for my dinner and it's like eating heaven.

This is my fourth day without drinking wine and my third day of no caffeine. Steve has been wonderful to wait until I go to bed before he uncorks the zin. He was eating some crackers last night and I just had to go to bed rather than witness it. After-dinner-eating is my fatal flaw. I had no trouble whipping up a lasagna for Steve's dinner using the vegetables I bought for my diet. I'm happy for him to eat it while I eat my beet.

I've been going to bed early and waking up at 4:00 a.m. ready to party. But I know it's a bad idea to get up so I go back to sleep. Today I had a horrible headache every time I opened my eye, so I just went back to sleep.

I never ever could see myself doing anything like this. Like most of us, I choose the path of least discomfort. I was ready though. All the goodies I fed myself over the holidays disappointed me. It was time. It makes me feel like Superwoman, not in strength or agility, but in courage and self discipline. I CAN do it.

I think I 'm ready for a real post.

2009 began with a New Years Party that was heaven for me. I find entertaining to be very stressful and I rarely host parties any more. For fifteen years I flat out refused. Then I met Joy and Tim and we started a tradition of having each other to dinner once or twice a month. I enjoy their company so much and we are very relaxed together, although our meals tend to be somewhat "formal." We eat at the nice table and serve in courses with good wine. Thirty two guests came to my house for New Years... many neighbors, some I'd never met, Cheryl, Karen & Ken, a couple of family members and a few couples who have become a New Years tradition with us. The food was great, the people were wonderful. Nobody got sloppy or threw up on my front yard. Only the weather was wretched. It was sooo cold and icky. Most people walked here and had to negotiate the high winds coming and going.

I'm excited about the year ahead. Big changes are coming and I can't even see my way through them. I just know how ready I am. My calendar looks like a summer schedule, where every weekend is booked, only this time it's not the weekends. On Wednesday I'm starting a special diet called "Transitions." I believe more in changing eating habits than dieting, but this particular program begins aggressively and then the retraining begins. It's based on glycemic index, which on paper I believe is the most sensible way to eat. My relationship to food and managing my diet has always been a passion for me. I've done a lot of research on hormone balance with food and the glycemic index is the most sensible way to manage mood and well being as well as weight loss. It's not particularly easy, but what is? And I am ready for a challenge. So Wednesday is my first meeting of twelve and the beginning of a week of detox. Detox means eating only fruits, (raw) vegetables and herb tea for one week. We are going to save SO much money on wine and Starbucks, I'll be able to buy another mini cooper with the savings, providing I'm not in prison from the effects of withdrawal.

We had our first monthly Iron Chix meeting on Saturday. Iron Chix is an open group of about twenty women connected by friendships who are registered for the 2009 Iron Girl Triathlon . We will meet monthly, hire speakers who will talk about different aspects of Triathlon, such as how to change a flat tire and how to change your clothes really fast so as to save time. My neighbor Mary is the person who started the group last year with four other women. She and I met walking our dogs. The Iron Chix women get together when they can to train. I met three women who belong to my health club and we are going to swim and take classes together. A couple of other women get together and ride the bike course once a week when the winter weather breaks. I'll be there. It's a tough, hilly course. I used to ride it for pleasure. I was once quite the cycling beast.

I signed up for two glass classes starting in February. One is a class I've been wanting to take for a long time where I will learn a beautiful decorative technique. The second is a six week class focused more on creativity and art as a practice. A goal I have this year is to find ways to reduce the price of my product to make it more affordable. These products I intend to sell through etsy and indie craft mafia shows. A second goal is to show my higher end product in some local galleries.

My earrings are selling really well at Weisser Glass Studio in Kensington. The mirrors are moving more slowly, but then they are ten times the price of the earrings. I'm going to get some of them back and post them for sale on my website, which is ready to go except for I need more stuff on it. How ready is that?

Jessica and I have been working hard on our relationship... talking, talking, talking, talking, more talking, talking. It's hard but necessary for experiencing our love.We are doing really well and enjoying our hugs once again. I'm so happy to see the softness returned to her eyes. Steve's Europe travel starts up again this month, which has started to feel normal. He's been home a lot over the holidays and is progressing really nicely on making my glass cabinets.

I feel so fortunate to be facing a future that calls forth a good, healthy, positive lifestyle. I am lucky to have the freedom to focus on these goals and plans in a time that is so uncertain for so many friends. I send you all my very best wishes for this coming year ahead. I'm looking forward to reading your blogs!

thanks to Andi

Thank you Andi, for always providing something quick and fun to post. Please forgive my plagiarism.

Your Word is "Fearless"

You see life as your one chance to experience everything, and you just go for it! You believe the biggest risk is being afraid and missing out on something amazing. Sometimes your fearlessness means you're daring. You enjoy risky activities. And sometimes your fearlessness means you're courageous. You're brave enough to do the right thing, even when it's scary.

What's Your Word?

happy new year

Deep breath. Ready. Set. Go.

The holidays were nearly out of control this year. Just big. And fast. Many parties. Shopping. Decorating. Cooking. Entertaining. Laughing. Crying. No blogging.

Jessica's Christmas present to me was an evening at the Kennedy Center seeing Legally Blond. It was great!

I had to put my cat, Angel, to sleep. She was old and sick and it was so sad and so hard.

My tree is still up. I've taken six ornaments off so far. I've cooked nothing since New Years. We're still eating party food, take out, and meals I've frozen.

My glass business is about to take a turn this year. My new attitude towards the indy craft movement is "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." So I'll be going places I've never been and I'm very excited about it. I'm very pleased to have sold so many of my pieces over the holidays. It was a surprise to me and it taught me a few good lessons.

I hope you, my blog friends, are all well and looking forward to positive changes in 2009. I think of you every day. You are always with me.

You Are Generous and Loving

You approach the holidays in a warm, caring fashion. You make sure everyone is taken care of, and you connect with all the people you know. You think the holidays are all about personal relationships, and you enjoy making the people you love smile. You'll go the extra mile to make sure everyone is happy. Of all the types, you are the most likely to have the most types of wrapping paper. You're also the most likely to include a homemade gift - even if it's just cookies or a funny card.

The Wrapping Paper Test

Your Spiritual Number is Nine

You bring satisfaction and competence into people's lives. You are very influential... sometimes more of an influence than you even realize. Right now, your life is all about reflection and completion. You have ended a long journey, and you are taking the time to figure out what it all meant. You are an easy going, charming, and charismatic person. Whether you want to or not, you have a lot of devoted followers.

What's Your Spiritual Number?

Well, I guess this is a start of a post. Is it possible I haven't posted since November??? How lost am I? Blogging is really grounding. Got to get back to it. I remember Christmas as being a fun time of year. Peaceful even. Driving around in the snow looking at lights, putting up the tree, carrolling with neighbors, seeing the Nutcracker ballet with my mother. I think I'll put my tree up today and try to capture the spirit of my memories.

I have no idea how this happened but..... it all makes for a funny story.

Our neighbor and good friend Tim called Steve on Wednesday, for some random reason, probably a woodworking challenge. At the end of the conversation he said, so what time should we come to dinner on Friday? Steve replied.... "uhhh, what time would you like to come to dinner????" (as in, I think you have the wrong party). He said he'd check with Joy as she is really the keeper of the calendar and social plans. Steve hung up and we had a little chuckle knowing well that it was another neighbor who had invited them for post Thanksgiving leftovers and they'd get over the embarrassment and it would all pass. Thursday Steve borrowed Tim's snake to try to unclog our drain and the subject of dinner did not come up so we figured they resolved who had invited them to dinner Friday. We returned to business as usual. The plumber arrived at 9:30 and cleared the drain with his big industrial snake. I worked on a mosaic and raked leaves all day, then took Oakleigh for a long walk. Steve finished making his turkey soups. Some time in the afternoon Tim called again to ask how the snaking went and again asked what time dinner was. Oh dear, I think he was serious. Playing along,I suggested 6:30. Being a smart cook this year, I didn't have many leftovers. Just in case they really did show up, I sent Steve to the grocery store so I could make another corn pudding and suppliment the 1/2 cup of gravy I had left. At 6:30 our guests arrived, knowing none the better than this was my plan all along. We had a great evening together. Joy brought her homemade pieroghis and I fed them a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I drank too much and was overcome with symptoms of turretts syndrome. (I couldn't stop saying "dick" as if it was my new favorite word). It's good Tim and Joy know me and have come to expect nothing less than vulgarity as my most endearing form of self expression.

Steve and I slept in this morning. I think I got up at 10:00. I actually feel quite refreshed. The sun is shining. I'll finish raking the lower forty today and then do one final mowing to winter prep the lawn. Anybody want to come for dinner?

Thanksgiving: WW/WDW

What worked and what didn't work:

What worked:

Chopping all the vegetables on Tuesday.
Cooking the entire dinner on Wednesday. Everything!
Cleaning the house the day before.
Moving all the furniture the day before.
Raking leaves on Thanksgiving day because all the cooking and cleaning was (were?) done.
Having a utility sink in the basement.
Canned cranberry sauce.
BJ's frozen Normandy vegetables.
Ordering a bigger turkey this year (24#).
Having Mom come without a date or a "husband."
Martha Stewart's stuffing and how to cook a perfect turkey.

What didn't work:

Pioneer Woman's mashed potatoes. Sorry, not at all worth 2 sticks of butter, a package of cream cheese and 1/2 cup of heavy cream. It didn't make any difference.
Clogging the kitchen sink and related drain pipes before dinner. (See *utility sink in the basement). Steve decided to make turkey soup with the carcass since I'd already done all the cooking. Thank you Steve.
Changing my corn pudding recipe.
Starting the dishwasher not realizing it was attached to the clogged sink. We were up all night listening to the 30 second timer beep because the dishwasher wouldn't reset with water in it. Thank you Bon.

It was a wonderful meal and we all had a great time.

Ew. I'm sorry I wrote that post. That'll teach me to whine. I needed to just spew out the icky frustration I was feeling to get it unstuck. All is well. Really quite fine. I picked up my turkey today and started cooking. It's supposed to be a fresh turkey but the inside is quite frozen so I've been waiting for it to thaw a bit so I can remove that little plastic bag of organ meats. Martha Stewart warns against cooking the gall bladder but I can't find any pictures of turkey organs to indicate which might be the gall bladder. My guess is that it's already removed, but who can tell! I made Pioneer Woman's mashed potatoes and they are indeed verrrrry creamy. They're actually looking a little wet to me. Maybe they'll dry out when I reheat them. I'm making a really simple dinner this year. My extra twisty additions aren't appreciated any more than a straightforward traditional meal. So this year I'm forgoing the fresh cranberry salsa in favor of pushing whatever comes out of that can. I'm feeling very on top of it all. Now I just have to clean the house. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Steve got home from China on Friday and he's been sleeping a lot. Long into the morning he sleeps. Jess came over yesterday after our dentist appointment and she fell asleep for a few hours on the couch. Oakleigh is asleep on her bed with her nose on her marrow bone. I watch them sleep and am happy it's safe for them.

Diane called and disintegrated on the phone. The holidays are cruel to people who have lost children.

Every morning now, I wake up feeling overwhelmed. The gap between my expectations and my reality pushes me up against panic. I'd like to say it's self induced. I'm frustrated with my art. I'm disappointed and embarrassed by my lack of ambition. It's so hard for me to work alone.

It was a wonderful day yesterday. I've still got that inner glow of warm happiness in my belly. I was thrown out of bed at 5 a.m. by a raging bowel and a blinding headache. All I wanted was two advil but I checked the calendar and I have five more days before I can take any due to the probings and the scrapings of my esophagus and colon. Guess the doc left a couple raw spots. I fell back into bed and slept until 10. I'd have slept until noon were it not for our blog club lunch date. Now there are four of us who can play together: Cheryl, Karen, Kathy and ME. It was a wonderful. The four of us were so easy together, like old friends. You know how supportive we all are for each other in our comments. It was no different in person. I wonder if it's the role we have for each other as a blogging community.

I also finished a big project I've been working on this past week: Yale University posted a call for poetry written by young adults (under age 40). If you win the competition, they publish the poems in a beautiful book. I'm not a poet, and obviously over 40, but my friend Micki was. She died in July 2007 from complications of Lupus. She was 29 years old. I already had in my possession a disk of her poetry written between the ages of 13 and 27. All I needed to do was organize it, print it out, and add a little bio. Sifting through 70 pages of poems was a bigger task than just printing them. It took me a few late nights, some dinners out, and some neglected chores. I delivered the final package to Diane (Micki's mom) this morning. She wants to make some personal copies of it before she mails it. We worked together a couple of nights titling some of the poems and sorting out duplicates. Diane and I have been friends for 22 years, yet this project connected us in a new a profound way. She is so proud. It was a privilege for me to represent Micki and I was moved by the opportunity to have her poetry read and considered by the Yale Press. We won't hear anything from Yale until July, unless they just outright reject her based on the small fact that she is not alive. I couldn't care less. This was all about the process for me and it defined me in a new way. Narcissism does require a little balance.

Well, I'm still going with the mantra "focus on what you do well..." and today I've expanded that to "nurture your inner narcisist." Has a kind of ring to it. I'm coming to a kind of peace with myself this week. My narcissism is like a many bladed swiss army knife. I am very focused on style and presentation. I consider my face as a canvas to paint, my body a canvas to dress, my hair an expression of my personality as are my nails. I'd pay much more attention to my clothes and shoes if I had anywhere to go. The other blade on this sword is that I think this is an incredibly superficial and shallow focus. But we're not going there today. We are nurturing the narcissist. Another favorite form of my narcissism is the records I keep about myself. First, I blog. When people ask me the subject of my blog, all I can say is "me." I keep all kinds of logs. Over the years I've kept food diaries, exercise logs, a private diary, lists of personal goals and operating prinicples, even a well being chart. I weigh myself every morning, always to experience that first jolt of disappointment for the day. Every couple of years I'll take my measurements and record them for comparison. My self-absorbed philosphy is that one can NEVER be too thin. Even a size 2, at 100 pounds wasn't too thin. I thought it was pretty perfect at the time, but then I had the misfortune of being depressed and unable to really appreciate how perfectly tiny I was. And I wasn't eating. I was actually pretty disfunctional at the time. Twenty pounds heavier today, it's harder to run up the stairs real fast. Getting dressed in this body is not fun and I try to scare as few people as possible by undressing in company. I've been ashamed of my inner narcissist for a long time. I'm afraid I will age into my (role model for self absorbtion) mother. But today I'm all about acceptance and loving the selfish, attention seeking, show off, arrogant, have to be unique critter I am. I think my nails are dry now.